The pinjipona seruppu.

He knew he had been outage for long,
But that didn’t mean he was out of song.
Kuppusuamy was dazed, yet again.
Its not the first time he was filled with disdain.
He didn’t give a fuck about the forest anyways,
the ugly duckling blojums into the swan always,
the fox had always found the grapes sour ,
and the boy who cried Wolf ! before,
Well, he can’t care for him anymore.
The Chinki Stash plan had gone off-route.
The Himalayan Aghoris had made him go mute,
Becoming omnipresent in their new recruit.
He knew he was an old school fool.
But to see the crow act the fool
and drop its vada ,just spoilt his mood.
For, the grapes hadn’t stopped the fox’s drool,
which reminded him of his school.
Kuppu in school was no fundoo,
He was jus a fat, frat gundoo,
In fact , his mom often called him mundoo,
But his dad just said ,”Do what you God-a do.”
One day in class he heard,
“Ken Ai Bee yoar friendu?”
and thats how he met Vengadaraju,
or it could’ve been Vengadarajulu too.
When he was 8 he fell for Sindhu,
later to realise she had fallen for his friendu,
He knew there were things that he can’t undo,
but that doesn’t mean he can’t fall for a hott mellu.
In class he had to cover up his jollu,
that, one day his teacher asked,
“Do you have any doubt kupppu?”
But unable to come out of his mappu,
he asked her a question with kozhuppu,
and that is the story of the pinjipona seruppu.
Of course, later, Rajulu came and asked,
Dude-u! what was that queshtionu?”
Kuppu just said, “Kha ! Thuuuu.”

The Shaman Stash.

Believe it or not , Kuppusamy has a family.
Now, he knew that he was no Ambani.
But he had children that counted to many
with ladies who were fading in his memory.
He has fucked everything under the sun.
Of those whose names he knew none,
But he knew for sure that he has put Osama to shame
and convinced himself a Limca record and some shoddy fame.
Now, standing outside the ginger bread house,
Hansel and Gretel were stabbing each other for fun,
His paternal emoshun tickled to arouse.
WTF?, for all he knew, even Hansel could be his son.
He knew none of his children’s names.
It might be some Anand , Birbal or James.
The only son he remembered was not because it rhymed close
but because of the insane pot he grows.
Munusamy was just ten , when
he inspired himself to the house of Zen.
Fortunately now, he had access to Chinese pot.
And Kuppu was thinking whether he should ask him or not?
Will his own son betray the ever-peaceful ganja truce?
Which is more tastier Eclairs or Chocolate mousse?
So many thoughts trafficking his hungry baked head,
that he settled on Roasted beef ,Thick , Juicy and red.
As his mouth was filling with drunken saliva,
his head swung into a hallucinatory dilemma.
The search for the Chinki Shaman stash has begun .
And thus Kuppu, half mad and smoked-up, broke into a run.

Kuppu lost in the forest.

The pot was wearing off as the plot was wearing off.
Kuppu just can’t remember any shit..
But he knew he just can’t give up and sit.
As the forest was thickening dark,
a lonely dog would howl and bark.
Helplessly he shouted,” yo Muni , where are you randi?!”
He swore that when he met him he’ll kick his kundi.
It was The Big Bad Wolf which had howled as it had just seen
Little Red Riding Hood ,who looked tasty ,white and clean.
It had perfected its resemblance uncanny
as the delicious but unfortunately unshaven Granny.
Meanwhile Kuppu tortured by pot-hunger,
couldn’t take the time and distance any longer.
He gave up and ate the dirty crumbs he had just found .
“Hey that’s ours “, shouted Gretel ,circling him around.
“Guys, I know how this story ends,there is a witch”
Hansel replied, “You are just stoned , you selfish B**ch”
“Fine! , But don’t come later telling me that I didn’t warn you”
Gretel ,whose eyes were red, “O yeah?… hmmph..well, fuck you!”
“Psst.. Hansel , have you got any marijuana?”
“Who did you think I was , Diego Maradona?”
“Well I just hope the witch eats you !”
“Maybe you should come with us man.”
“Dude, she is gonna feed us and eat me too”
“Don’t worry, Gretel and I got another plan.”
Thus, the potheads walked cursing each other,
While Riding Hood was talking to her mother’ mother.
“Grandma , Why do I smell ganja here?”.
“I smoke some now n then, it cures my arthritis dear”.
“Oh good, so there is nothing to fear.”
“What ? I can’t hear you dear , please come near.”
Riding Hood then says, “What big hands you have.”
“Oh if only you knew the joints I smoke.”
“My, what big teeth you have!”
“Sorry but this might be the last time you spoke.”
Riding hood screamed loud as the big bad wolf smiled,
“Am sorry its been long time since your grandma had died.”
So as the story ends , the hunter never came
as he thought it would be so lame,
to rescue a granny who can barely walk
and a girl who thinks that a fucking wolf can talk.

Stoned Kuppu. (Contd.)

Kuppusamy noticed that Sundhari had become mad
Now,he didn’t know whether this was good or bad.
Stoned out of her head,She seemed to look at the sky and cry.
He thought, Its better to leave her high and (her mouth) dry.
But,wait ,Would leaving her make him happy or sad?
and then he knew he was nothing but just a Kundifry.
He wanted history to refer him as a stoner,
who was always searching for a big long boner.
Its always fun to run downhill, especially
when your bladder is boozefull till the brim.
He stopped at the foothill, “Are you fucking kidding me?”
Jack and Jill were at it and didnt care to even look at him.
There was no time and room for talk and air.
But for Kuppu to join or interrupt ,had no interest nor care.
He had places to get stoned and joints to go,
Shots to gulp, beers to chug and people to mug.
He was gonna meet a stoner from a long time ago.
He was a douche , a fool , a fuck , a wannabe-thug.
He was called Muniyandi with a Motto,
for he always said ,Drugs for life , till I meet Death,
But used to fool people by sniffing ajino-moto,
telling them that it was actual crystal meth .
He sometimes even painted his nostrils red.
And cried, “I told you !, very soon am gonna be dead!”
An old timer and a long lost schmuck,
about whom Kuppusamy didn’t give a fuck.
He knew meeting him would be such a bore.
But Kuppusamy had nowhere else to score.
Muniyandi was the man with the potlis , the pot , the Ganja.
You would do the same If you were me , wouldnya?

Stoned Kuppu ,Pissed.

Kuppusamy was head over heels
about his new love ,Sappasundhari.
He knew at once that this is what everyone feels
when your head is mixed with pot and potpourri.
“O Sappa, my girl, my figghur , my love,
Do you want the Vodka later or now?”
But Sundhari being both dumb and dumb,
nodded her head to signal her succumb.
Both drunk ,wanted to make out and drill,
but thats when Jack and Jill were up the hill.
Pissed out , Kuppu got up with anger
and asked Jack ,“Who are you stranger?”
“We just came to fetch a pail of water”
“Let this be the last time , there is no hereafter”
Kuppu realised that Jack wore a gown ,
“Fool, that is gonna make you fall down.
As Jack trippped and fell down,
Kuppu laughed loud at the clown.
So, his weed has finally kicked in
and Sundhari had just downed her gin.
Stoned Kuppu turned to Jill ,
“What are you doing here ,still?”
“Sir, Err.. the water”
“What did I mean by hereafter?”
Kuppu couldn’t tolerate any longer,
and that’s how Jill came tumbling after.

Kuppusamy during 90s.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
taking his time on which side to fall.
East or West ? This is Berlin nineties
and people are nothing but a buncha crazies.
“Demolish the wall!!, Demolish the wall!!”.
and thats when Humpty got a missed call.
Humpty Dumpty was delighted to see,
it was none other than Chinna Kuppusamy.
He called back and asked, “Are you that cheap?”
and Kuppu said , “I just like your ringtone ,you creep!”
“Ringtone?! wait a minute ,or you somewhere here?”
“Nooo, now STFU and talk fast cuz the line isn’t clear.”
“Am Humpty on the wall , please do help me. “
“Am a little too high to help you, do you get me?”
“East or West , which is a better country?”
“Doesn’t matter because you are now in mad Germany”
“Oh please Kuppu help!, they closing in on me”
“OK. Pick East and climb the nearest tree.”
“Why not West?”, asked the fatty .
“Because West is where I use to pee,
when I have  lil toomuchothat good ol’ Whiskey.”

Drunken Kuppusamy Rhymes.

Hello my deyur Dubakoor dude.
me no speaky GRE.
you Understuude?
Your words not coming out clearly.
Who are you dude?,
stringing pointless words mean some ding.
I don’t wish to be rude,
“but are you trying to tell something?”.
A B C D E F G ,
You are nothing but a shameless pussy.
H I J K L M N O P,
if you want to learn englees come to me.
Twinkle twinkle little bar.
How I wonder where you are.
Me needs whiskey ,
Otherwise no more speaky.
and by the bye,
My name is Chinna Kuppusamy.